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02 May 2010 @ 10:06 pm

take care, love.

Current Mood: pensivepensive
02 May 2010 @ 09:57 pm

...but my life is good.

The curtains went down on Drama Night not two days ago. I'm not going to say much more, because I think everything that one could possibly want to say has already been done so, and at the end of the day the experience speaks for itself - the horrendous stress of pre-show prep, the gazillion late nights, standing behind the curtains on show night listening to the buzz of a full house and thinking, wow. Skipped lines, screwy tech - they all seem kind of inconsequential; I've remembered why I love performing, and that's enough. I'm happy, and so tremendously proud of everyone. That's all there is to it.

SYF in just over four days. I don't know whether to be terrified, excited or sad. Or all three. It's been long.

Spent the weekend doing nothing but a measly bit of math and catching up on sleep mostly, with the result that I still have a grand total of two papers to save (!!! panic) plus the PC assignment and studying for the Keynes test. I can feel the little screechy sirens in my head going off - my academics are a goner fo'sure, but hey, it was worth it.
Current Mood: tiredtired
24 April 2010 @ 11:36 pm

Spent half of the day cooped up in the PT, and the other half completely comatose on my bed in a three-hour monster nap.....mmmmm. But oh, the guilt.

Next few weeks are going to be sheer madness. I think I'll be quite glad when all this is over.

" Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox.

But he came back to his idea.

'My life is very monotonous," he said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all men are just alike. And in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the colour of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat..."

Current Mood: anxiousanxious
21 April 2010 @ 12:18 am

use somebody;

Losing my muchness. Appetite's disappearing, can't taste my food, aching and bruised and filthy from rehearsals, and yet sleep remains as fleeting and unsatisfying as ever.

Ten days.

Time to keep pushing. Live through this, and you won't look back.
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
18 April 2010 @ 11:55 am

My prose is failing me. I can't write, and the discontent stemming from this reminder is only being exacerbated by the realization that it has been, for the most part, yet another inconsequential week - a mindless blur of rehearsals, class&work, and living on endless mugs of teh C, and a lot of unnecessary and undeserved pain come Friday. My candygirls, I love you all to bits.

On the bright side, finally tapped into antagonistic psychopath mode during yesterday's rehearsal - and about time, too. Counting down the days now. We stand at 12.

Oh, and this:

I haven't written a single poem
in months.
I've lived humbly, reading the paper,
pondering the riddle of power
and the reasons for obedience.
I've watched sunsets
(crimson, anxious),
I've heard the birds grow quiet
and night's muteness.
I've seen sunflowers dangling
their heads at dusk, as if a careless hangman
had gone strolling through the gardens.
September's sweet dust gathered
on the windowsill and lizards
hid in the bends of walls.
I've taken long walks,
craving one thing only:

Adam Zagajewski

...which speaks perfectly about everything, really. Thanks, love. You're the best.

Current Mood: sadstressed, tired and achy :(